SLIPPERS SAYS – EPISODE 8: SCENE 1 MARKET DAY – WHO TIEF DI CALLALOO?

Narrated by Slippers 

Mi never trust market day.

Too much people. Too much noise. Too many chances fi embarrassment. But Lady Dee deh pon a mission this morning. She wake up early, tighten her red basketball cap with the “DR” stitched pon di front, grab her market basket and seh,

“Mi going market. Fresh food, fresh breeze, and no more cow inna mi callaloo patch.”

Mi shoulda stayed home.

She round up di whole crew like she carrying backup. Trevor get tie up wid him rope that barely hold when he hungry. Socks and Shoes flap up like them excited — Shoes a fly low like him training fi road duty. Bubbles? Him ride in a clear bucket like him deh pon executive tour. And me? Mi just follow. Not because mi want to. But because mi sense… something suspicious.

By di time we reach market, sun hot like it vex wid everybody. Stall deh left, right, centre — mango, ackee, yam, bush medicine, and one man selling nothing but empty bottles and pure argument. Lady Dee walk proud through di crowd, checking prices, greeting vendors, and sniffing dasheen like she born in a soil bucket. Mi trod behind, tongue hanging out, trying fi keep Trevor in line — but him keep pulling toward a sugarcane cart like it calling him by name.

Shoes fly off and circle back every few seconds. Socks settle on Lady Dee shoulder like him a security. Mi bark once:

“Keep unnu eye pon di basket, mi beg.”

Everything look calm — till mi hear it.

“Miss! MISS! Somebody tief mi callaloo!!”

Mi spin round.

One vendor lady, skirt flying like flag, finger pointing directly at Lady Dee.

“Mi just blink — and mi callaloo GONE! Is yuh goat? Is yuh dog? Is one a dem feathered tief?”

Lady Dee stop in her tracks. Mi freeze. Trevor look offended. Socks duck low. And SHOES?

Shoes look up slow… with one fat piece a callaloo STICKING OUT HIM BEAK like garnish.

Mi bark:

“Yuh couldn’t even chew it first?!”

Everybody stare. Shoes try fly off casual, but it too late. Callaloo flap fly out and land in Bubbles’ bucket. Bubbles blink like, “Mi nuh sign up fi witness duty.”

Di vendor woman stomp over.

“Unnu bring whole zoo come market fi tief produce?!”

Lady Dee raise her hands.

“Mi swear, mi just come fi pumpkin and peace!”

Mi try explain but she cyaan understand me bark. Trevor try hide behind Bubbles’ bucket. Socks bawl out, “Mi nuh know him!” Shoes seh, “It was blowing in di wind!” Mi look at him: “Shoes… yuh had it in yuh mouth, mi general.”

Next ting, a small crowd form. People watching like is dancehall clash. Bubbles float to the back of the bucket like him a try disappear. Mi feel mi tail get heavy. Mi lick mi paw and whisper,

“Dis why mi nuh like market.”

Lady Dee dig in her purse, pay fi the missing callaloo — plus a little extra — and try calm di scene. The vendor lady grumble, but finally walk off talking ‘bout “next time mi bring broomstick, not basket.”

Trevor seh,

“Mi glad a nuh me this time.”

Shoes pretend to cough. Callaloo still stuck in one side of him beak.

On di way back, mi walk slow. Mi foot dem tired. Mi pride even more tired. Bubbles floatin silent. Socks still quiet. Shoes humming like nothing never happen. And me?

Mi nah say a word. But mi know one ting:

Same mi. Same shoes. But next market day… Shoes better pack lunch.

Coming up next:

Episode 8 – Scene 2: River Day – Bubbles Swim Off!

After market disgrace, Lady Dee seh we cooling off by di river.

But when Bubbles disappear from him tank…

Things get deep.